The more of a fuck up you've been, the  more The Grateful Dead will resonate with you. And the less you've fucked up, the more you can live a little vicariously through the melody. 

Maybe that's why they're so relevant to this very day. I love songs like Wharf Rat, just so simple, so core to this human existence. They say so much in just a few harmonies, and only when you've lived a little life, only when you've seen through the veil and perceive a bit more complexity and the nature of truth and perception and the absurdity of this human condition will it really hit home. You've gotta have your heart broken a few times to really get the most out of this wild ride. Whether that be be in the arena of the work place, family life, or in the brutal battleground of love where all's fair. 

We've been on both ends of the knife. And if you haven't been, you're missing key bits of this maddening experience.

I need a couple days to let my brain kinda come to rest, really scatterbrained of feeling discombobulated after quitting these meds. Gotta find myself, find the mojo.

Dev has not been whoopin' ass of late, but that's fine. We hit this really hard the past year, I'm fairly proud of that.

In Warf Rat, it's about the folly of man (and women), and how once you start to go down that road, there is no redemption, but the bottle won't let you know that.

I'm happy we're no longer tied to that bottleneck. It's a different kind of existence to try to find meaning outside of chemicals, which are so easily come upon any more. Some days I wish we could have a few drinks on a Friday night, but knowing myself that's just a slippery slope.

And we've had enough drinks for several lifetimes, we've fucked up enough for several lifetimes. I think this period of our life, and this moment especially it's time we find it in us to do right by this world.

Suppose I'm just a self important asshole, but some of us have to be to fix this fucking mess.

Whew, feels like I'm some kind of free high coming off this medication, nerve endings are firing off like all get out right now.

Oh I've been feeling so well of late that I almost forgot that health was a topic of conversation in these parts. I know I'm jinxing it but the past few days I feel like I have my life back, I feel alive and well, and it's been so many years since I felt I could say that. But I worry that has come at the cost of the fire within us.

I'm not worried about it, we're going to be back to it soon, I can feel it. (UNRELIABLE NARRATOR!? WHO KNOWS!?)

I've said it so many times before, I've said "I mean it this time" so many times before, but I really do in this instance. I truly believe we are on the threshold of this dream coming together, and it's not even just a sense of the game being well, I feels as though I have my mind back, and I don't feel so crazed and fight or flight as we once did when we felt the fear of death every other week.

For so long I felt as though we were in a greater war, that The SeaCrit Fish Game wasn't but a weapon we were sharpening, as we would cast ouselves to battle, never to return, a trophy on some other m*ther fucker's wall.

What a strange trip it's been developing this project the past few years.

I feel as though I've gotten a new start, and that I may yet live the life I should. I know I'm lucky, not everyone finds themselves down this path out of the gutter. But gahdamn was I comfortable and happy giggling to myself in that gutter. I know you're not supposed to admit to that but there it is. But there are more people in this world than my dumb ass, and i've been a selfish fuck for long enough.

So often i've ranted and raved about how bad I had it over the past few years, but I've actually been quite blessed in many ways, and shout out to everyone who made that possible, even if I didn't appreciate it at the time.

Back to dev soon. 

We'll find our fire again soon, for now gotta let my brain juices recombobulate.

"Half of my life, I spent doing time for some other fucker's crime" I love lines like this. Is the unreliable narrator of the story being truthful? Were the Dead aware of the likely guilt of the character they were romanticizing? Was this a self aware song, about them being the older gentleman hanging out with the younger one, both sharing in this slow decline of chemical castration?

Many of us like to think the best and brightest will be confined to cubical and books and toiling their lives away for large paychecks to create some sort of great work, some great product to bolster humanity. But how fucking sad is that? Maybe even more sad than the men stumbling around the docks.

Morality is such a relative concept of greys. We frame people as evil and horrible for certain actions, and we act above it all, but most are just hypocrites. And there are plenty of bleeding hearts out there who know full well they defend the faulty, but they get off on their moral crusades.

The world is mad, but it sure is interesting. I ping pong between thinking everything is so insanely complex that it's impossible to understand, and that everything is so maddeningly simple, that it's a wonder more people haven't figured it all out yet.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it. The truth is the inflection to most. And these are the two diametrically opposed realities that make this game of life so insanely interesting. Who is true, who is in the right? The ardent defender and searcher of truth? Or the defender of the faulty? Those who defend our imperfections?

We're all someone's savior, we're all someone's demon they fight with tooth and nail. We're all in a holy crusade for good, and the horrible monster  standing in the way of others' utopia.

We are not even CLOSE to being above posting this sappy, 80's cringe shit XD

One more for shits and giggles, and we gotta balance out that patchouli smelling, hippy shit with a shot of testosterone and Guinness chaser.