All the bitching and moaning and health issues caught up to me. All these cries for help and the world couldn't throw us a damned bone!

AND NOW WE'RE FUCKIGN DEAD!

I actually have no idea what the hell I'm doing with this blog, but it was too long since the last blog and it didn't feel right to leave it in such a downer state after being so mopey last blog.

I don't know what the hell is going on with me. I decided to try the carnivore diet again, so I'm straight up caveman mode right now frying up steaks.

OH THAT REMINDS ME! I was goingto write a nentire blog dedicated to this, but i'll just type it here.

I have discovered a BADASS, RAW POWER means of cooking steaks.

WARNING EDIT: Upon doing this method for a second time, I feel irresponsible posting this without explicitly stating BE CAREFUL OF OIL FIRES. This shit is no joke and I'm not sure i'll ever do this again rofl. WTF was I think holy shit the pan gets hot and smoke goes all over the damn place. Maybe the smart move is to just BBQ outside and not inside like a total nutcase. At the VERY LEAST, if you are going to attempt this, have a nice form fitting lid at the ready you can put over the skillet in the event of a fire, and be ready for the shock of a giant fucking fire in your kitchen, and added advice, DO NOT USE TO MMUCH OIL to avoid a catastrophic event. I should probably remove this cooking method but it kinda fits into the blog and it does make a mean steak, so try at your own risk. A MUCH saner alternative would be to just use a broiler and put something under whatever metalic tray you have your meat on to get that sucker right in that fire that's above, hit it with a little bacon fat and salt before hand to get it started.

Ok, namby pamby edit over. Let's get back to talking about fire and raw meat burned on the outside to perfection cooked right in your own damn house, because you're a strong independent caveman, who don't need no propane tank.

/end edit

So you know that round piece of metal that disperses the flame from a stovetop on an oven into a sane, circular distribution? TAKE THAT PUSSY SHIT OFF.

Put heave cast iron skillet over top, close all the doors that have fire alarms in their rooms and open some windows. Now put a little bacon fat in the pan and turn that fucker on.

There should be a single funnel of natural gas firing like a jet engine into your skillet, get a lighter, preferably a longer one, and go ahead and get that fire goin. It's important the skillet be over the flame, because the natural case will be coming out so fast that a fire won't be maintanable unless the skillet is over top.

Now throw your steak in that son of a bitch. It goes without saying, but it's going to get HOT, so don't cook this like you would a normal steak lettig it sit for 4 minutes per side, be ready to flip that sucker over after just a minute or so. Don't use pepper, don't use butter, nothing but oil, or you will burn the shit out of it. This is just pure meat and salt territory at these temperatures.

And what you're going to get is a steak that's a lot more akin to cooking it outside on a propane grill, but you're gonna be able to achieve that nice crusty outside from the comfort of your home without needing a grill!

I went cold turkey of Metformin and Lexapro. So far not sure what to exdpect. Feeling a little breathless, but I just wanted to see if maybe we really stuck to a strict diet and did away with pills altogether maybe we'd feel better, or at the very least know what the heck our normal selves were for a little while.

On the bright side I don't feel that much different at all, it's not like taking these pills to help with the breathlessness makes me feel like a different human being or medicated or numb or anything, but that said I do feel slightly less numb. Music just has a certain awesome edge to it rigth now, but htat could also be because we've been a total lazy fuck and haven't worked and jammed out to music in forever! I don't listen to music unless I'm working any more so it's been a bit.

As for SeaCrit... it's not dead either. I fired it up just a moment ago and immediatly didn't like the revisions I made to waveswim so I've got that bag of balls to greet me whenever it is we get back to it.

Wish I had more difinitive insights into what was going on in the future. I'm saying this as if I'm regretful I don't have insights to provide to you, but how do you think I feel!? I wish I knew when I was going to be attacking this every day at 14 hours a dev session again, but your guess is as good as mine right now.

I'm hoping by some magic all the medications my doctors gave me because they were good for me somehow make me feel better now that I've stopped taking them like the wise wizard of health that I am, but just typing that out makes me feel retarded. BUT I AM RETARDED.

Anyhow, blood sugar seems to be pretty decent, I've ingested like 2 entire fucking chickens worth of meat today and the cheapest section of an entire cow in chuck steaks, and I feel somewhere in between "god damn it when will i just be able to breath normally" and "eh this isn't so bad".

So as Christopher Walken once said, "When you put it like that... My life sounds pretty damned good!"

Hope everyone is doing  alright in this stupid bullshit world!

I gotta listen to more fucking Arch Enemy. I know it's growly, and part of my brain is like, why are you listening to this grating bullshit? But the other part of my brain is like, cuz it slaps you fucking dicklet XD

Quick aside, now that the AI craze seems to be dying down a bit, I'm really starting to appreciate hand made art again. There's a certain quality and care that is becoming more and more obvious now that the AI slop seems to be taking over all movies, memes, and everywhere you look. It's just so stale and soulless. Feels good to see cover art like this and really appreciate it again.

HOLY FUCK WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS BAND WAS STIL LTHIS FUCKING GOOD?

Might be the lack of medication, but this song is damn near spiritual right now. So good to hear some good new(ish) music. I usually avoid music videos because sometimes they're just really cringe, and this one is no exception, but I'm just too lazy to find an alternative link, and even though the singing portions are a little choppy, it does have a pretty cool visual motif about it.

Day 2 Edit: I probably shouldn't admit to this, but experimenting with ways to get a nice char on a steak inside is like one of my hobbies. It's not something I fuck around with daily or even monthly, but every once in a while I devise a new idiot notion for how we're going to try to get a heavy dark char on the meat inside the house without having to use more expensive methods. 

I've gone so far as to fill a skillet with a bit of lighter fluid hoping I could get a decent sized flame and put a metal rack over that to see what would happen. I probably sound like some kind of fucking pyromaniac, but my obsession with fire literally ends with trying to get a steak to get a nice crunchy exterior indoors 

In my research to find ways of attempting this inside, I have found that YOU SHOULD NOT try lighting charcoal inside because it will fucking kill you.

So as you probably guessed. ALL OF THIS was total parody, and I'm not some kind of psycho steak indoor cook scientist risking his own life and the other small creatures that live here in an attempt to find the perfect shut-in cooking technique. This IS PURE FICTION. CLEARLY NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OR EVEN I WOULD COOK LIKE THIS AND NOR SHOULD YOU, BUT IF YOU DO, YOU BETTER FUCKING HAVE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER READY.

TLDR: Don't be a retard and get anyone killed or burn your house down or blacken your kithen, just use the broiler.