This is going to be my last blog for a bit… but you never know!

This is the most I’ve ever been over these blogs, because I can just feel how much these thoughts will be used against me by the usual crowd. Those who weaponize and cancel, and take offense and have done this for years and years on end, will stoop to any level and do the maximum damage to absolutely anyone and everyone that care to, which is all who dare speak truth.

Did we take it too far? Yes we did. But none of you mother fuckers have an inkling of what this hellride is like, you don’t even try to. Why would you? All your delusions serve you.

No one will look to see the unserumountable pains and blokades we have been pushing against, no one will relate to the struggle. All these rambles will do is be used against us. And maybe it should be. Mayb I am the bad guy.

On the rare occasions that I can cool my jets any more on this endless, tormenting slog, I can see these entries through the eyes of the reader, I can immediately see the judgements and the emotions these blogs evoke. And whew boy am I insufferable.I am publisher kryptonite, I am C-Suit AIDS.And part of me is proud of tha, but the bigger part of me, the one that wants this game to eventually be a success, the one who wants to make a positive impact in this unfair world is just so damn terrified of the inevitable retribution, the inevitable ostricization. It’s all so so damn hopeless.

The more you care, the harder you fight, the more you bleed, the harder you are kicked into the dirt. Year after year, after year, after year. 

Why are we in this cave? Because we were right, and we were willing to stand up for what was right, we were willing to suffer for what was right. 

I understand this blog is unghinged. What this industry has done to me and others like me was worse, but I can’t expect those who haven’t experienced the endless shamings to understand, why would you make the effort? It only robs you of your power..

Anyhow, a new bug popped up. It won’t be as nasty as the last one that lasted 3 years, but it’s annoying in its own right.

When using phone controls holding charge with the shield is locking you into 100% heading, which isn’t how it’s supposed to be operating, and it’s frustrating because testing on phone is a hell of a lot more of a pain in the ass since we don’t have access to in engine tools and data in the builds.

But who cares right? No one gives a shit about the dev, no one gives a shit for upcoming games, or cool shit.

These blogs will terrify you, because none of you know what it’s like to be in the trenches, to be in the arena fighting for your damn life, to suffer the scorn, the attacks, the outcasting, all while fighting impossible odds, putting your all into a fight knowing no one is going to give a shit, no one is going to lend a hand, no one will be rooting you on. All  while the whole of society is pressing onto you “You are the evil one, you are the wretched demon that must be outcast. This industry needs to be safeguarded from you.”

All anyone gives a fuck about is who’s going to kiss their ring, and scratch their back. Who’s the other? Who’s the problem? Who do we have to destroy? Who’s contributions do we view through the lens of tribalism and diminish. Who do we fire out of the cannon from the comfort of our little hate club?

You mother fuckers have been so fucking petty, so fucking unreasonable and spiteful for so many years in such a bubble, that you have no fucking idea how horrible you have become. And people trying to show you that are doing you a service, because the sooner you wake the fuck up to what you have become, the sooner this world can go back to sanity, and the sooner we can all start enjoying the quality things in life again. Not the free paychecks, not the fucking petulance, not the iron fist with which you dictate the public discourse and choose along tribal lines who is able to feed their families and who is kicked into the muck.

Just words. Just sentiments that will be weaponized and turned against us.

Time to get back to busting my ass while the shit kickers fawn over one another and enjoy their chunks of flesh.

Is “Don’t Stop Believin’” TOTALLY out of place in this blog? You’re gaddamn right it is! But I didn’t link it for you, this song’s for me. We gotta go get to work, in spite of all you judgemental assholes who have no idea what it’s like to be in the arena.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who strives, who dares greatly, who perseveres, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."