I don’t know what to make of this world any more. I don’t know what to do. At this point I wonder if SeaCrit is just a distraction to keep myself from coming to terms with how broken this world is.

You can go crazy thinking over regrets, you can go crazy wishing the world wasn’t so hostile and blood thirsty and resentful and willing to cast so many into the dirt.

So we’re not going to think about that. We’re not going to think about how no one’s playing the game, we’re not going to stress about trying to get the game out there. We’ve been pretty insufferable the past month anyway running our mouth and posting crappy blogs.

We’re going to try to get back to being at least relatively sane again. Again, optimism is a terrible danger in indie dev. Much better to keep expectations low so when things inevitably fail again you can keep pushing forward.

I’m pretty happy with how SeaCrit is going. It’s going to get better. Will that be good enough to get us over the divide? Probably not, but no point harping on it.

I just don’t understand this industry, I don’t understand this world. I don’t know how this game fits anywhere, and I fear we’ve just made a game that’s not going to foster imaginations or fun of play, but just something that’s going to set people against us or anyone that would want to take a chance on us.

Maybe the play is to just stop being a loud mouthed asshole. It sounds so simple, and I could commit to it fully right now, but then I’m going to wake up tomorrow and run my mouth as if i’m afflicted by some horrible voodoo spell. 

What a terrible night for a curse…

I’m so proud of where we got the game this week, but the silence is such a gut punch. Feels like I’m in some kind of episode of the Twilight zone where we live in some kind of void and the industry is all around us but we don’t even exist.

But enough incessant whining.

At the very least, the game is getting better every day, and there are so many really cool things on the precipice of coming line in the very near future.

And we’re SO FUCKING burned out right now. I think a lot of this downer attitude is linked to just pushing so hard, you WANT to think that you’re due some kind of win after all the investment. But no one is entitled to anything in this world. When we signed up to do this project, we knew that if we were going to have any shot, the game was going to have to be AMAZING, and we’re not there yet. So gotta take a deep breath, realize this long road ain’t quite over, but we’re getting closer every day.

My plan was to take today off, but who knows, there’s a spawn bug gnawing at me, might get a little bit of troubleshooting done later.

This blog has really fallen off of late.

So this was a great month in terms of pushing hard and trying to get a little demo out under the wire, and I’m really happy for the work we got done, but it doesn’t change the lay of the land, i’m not sure it gets us any closer to any sort of win, it’s just another random thing out in the wilds among all the other millions. And what even is this blog? Lots of hot air.

So yeah, deep breath, no point harping on what could be, gotta get back to work soon and focus on what we have control over, which is still this silly fish game. Reminder to our manic self, this competition was a catalyst to get a massive amount of work done, and it worked.

This is the cost of that work, burnout and expectations. Gotta manage our expectations. 

Back to work soon.

EDIT:  So just a bit of good news, popped into the project, looked into the null reference exception we were getting and turns out that because of some global changes we made to code a few days ago, some legacy data assignments were biting us in the ass. And what was kinda nice, is by just blowing that away, our new and improved code systems came online and just filled in the cap perfectly.

So much of the work we have done on this project has just been slowly fixing broken crap as we get better at making water tight and sustainable solutions.

That's the price you pay for sticking with a project this long! You have to work with a coder who doesn't listen to you, won't change their shit, you have to clean up every single damned thing they did, and they are totally fucking retarded and won't comment their code. And that coder... is me XD. At least they were passionate and got some work done I guess... And that's friggin' it for today. I'm more than happy to just call it there. Gonna go recharge, gonna go meditate, going to focus and let go of the craziness. We have a lot of game to make. SeaCrit can become amazing, and there is nothing stopping us from getting there, and Unity web and the platform is on the up and up. Lots to be optimistic for.

Tomorrow back to it, I think we're going to start locking ourselves into dailies hard. It's time to get things up and running, we'll polish various elements Ad Hoc style as we go. 1 item, 1 bonus, one shop, 1 enemy per day is pretty doable. After a week, we'll have ourselves a game!