I swear I had this huge revelation that I wanted to talk about, something about how much of a pain gamedev is…

I think I remember now? Maybe the point is that gamedev is so complex, such a massive undertaking that it’s impossible to even have a conversation about the intricacies of it.

Ever single time I load up the project with some task in mind, I end up down some rabbit hole spending 5 hours fixing some text sizing issue that only happens on phones when this button is held.

Does that make sense?

Like I can sit here and try to speak to non gamedevs about this or that issue, but it’s like trying to describe how fucking delicious ice cream is to someone who’s lactose intolerant.

And this disconnect where a great many people have a fundamental lack of understanding of what tech even is, is probably the biggest problem today facing tech.

Those with the charisma, the connections, the money, the ambitions that haven’t been sullied by countless nights smashing your head against a monitor trying to fix endless bugs are the ones who steer this ship.

Crazed tangent, it’s actually my belief that all the aging billionaires in the world have pushed AI so insanely hard in an attempt to unlock neverending life before they snuff it. Now I don’t have any hard evidence of this, but we don’t have evidence of ANYTHNG any more because we’ve been cut out of the conversation of where the iceberg of humanity drifts to next.

There are obviously initiatives in this world, there are goals, huge changes are made, ordinances, rules, financial incentives are created and enforced with absolutely not transparency whatsoever. So all we can do is guess. And far as I can tell, the general gist has been to drive hard for AI powered systems that can power eternal life, while the other initiative being to suppress all mother fuckers with a lick of fight in them to ensure total and absolute control of the tech sector.

The irony is that these goals are at odds with one another. These soft handed, feeble old shit heads in doing away with all contentions, in all strong minded and ambitious up and comers who dared to question the sanctity of all the bullshit have now imposed a great stalling of forward progress. It’s only now setting in, but we do not live in a culture in which great new things are invented. 

We live in a culture where weak willed doormats take orders from self affirmed, self anointed bureaucrats where there is no failure state, because of the great social good being done even in abject failure. Medals, participation trophies, back pats and affirmations regardless of outcome.

Rofl, and here I was thinking we’d have a mundane and boring blog because we haven’t been able to get any sleep as of late.

Suppose I can touch on the actual project really quick.

Still manic as ever in regards to SeaCrit. One moment it’s, “WE’RE KING OF THE WORLD, ALL THESE M*THER FUCKERS ARE GOING TO SEE THAT IT DOESN’T TAKE A 200 MILLION DOLLARS AND A MASSIVE CIRCLE JERK TO MAKE A DECENT FOOKING VIDEO GAME”

The next moment is, “Oh god, it’s going to be so fooking embarrassing when this demo comes out and it’s total ass”.

One of the crazier things about gamedev is time is almost meaningless. Some days I spend 5 minutes fixing up some bit of movement logic and the entirety of the game feels 5x more fun. Other days I spend 5 hours on some bizarre initialization bug, and that time is just lost to the ether and has no damned impact on the project whatsoever.

It will drive you mad if you think about how little effort we have put into improving the ergonomics of code, logic, engines, etc.

Here’s a random thought for you, another bizarre tangent. 20 years ago I had this thought that it should be standardized that holding shift and control while pressing a button in an application should allow us to set the hotkey for that button, and automatically remove the hotkey wherever else it’s used. I remember having a conversation with someone about how awesome this would be, how easy it would be for people to become intimately good at workflows in various apps, and they just COULD NOT understand at all how much of a boon this would be.

I’m edgelording out hard as fuck right now, I understand that, I just don’t give a shit any more. 

Point is democracy doesn’t fucking work. Most people have no idea why the fuck anything works, how it could work better, or the social niceties and psy ops that have caused them to believe things are the way they are, or why they  believe in anything at all.

The truth is, most people are just checked out, and it’s not even their fault, this world REWARDS people for checking out, for groveling with the herd, for attacking anything outside the norm. 

Change is competition, improvements are changes, the status quo, no matter how retarded, must be maintained, because the machine is strong and powerful in the status quo.

I REALLY need to shave my beard right now. I had this idea a couple months ago that I should grow my beard. I’m not 100% sure why.

Has this blog gotten sufficiently weird yet? I try to mix things up around here just because being angry all the time gets so tired. 

One of the biggest issues facing this world is people are so deathly afraid of being human any more, being a little weird, being fallible, and i’m trying to fight that with each and every blog by being an abject fucktard weirdo.

Anyhow, Imma go shave. Then I’m gonna try to take a nap. And if that doesn’t work, we’re just gonna get to work and half ass some bullshit and hope the past decade of our life wasn’t a total waste XD. 

But I mean, whose life the past 10 years hasn’t been a total waste? 

We gotta get our shit together.