It's so fucking sad that instead of this industry having insightful dialogues on best coding practices, and how to best teach one another the exciting process of making games, we're all reduced to kicking and screaming and throwing shit fits on the internet. We were supposed to be better than this, but here we are.

You wouldn't know it by reading this blog, but I spend the majority of my time actually working on the game, and the bulk of my mental energy goes into creating these various systems of play. This blog is more an outlet where I can vent some frustration, try to stay sane amidst all the rampant post modern bullshit that has infested this world and ruined this industry.

There are SO MANY things I want to ramble about right now. It's just so incredibly fascinating to me how we got to this point in this world.

Isn't it fascinating that there are BILLIONS of people on this planet. And of those BILLIONS of people, we all managed to each of us come together, bury our heads in the sand, and let sweet nothings poison our minds because we were too afraid to offend anyone, so we let the whole of humanity and the systems of prosperity rot and decay for easy paychecks and feelings of lofty, unearned virtues?

No one even knew this shit was happening. The fat cats were too happy in their bubbles.

This nation was founded on the idea that decadent royalty ruin everything. This nation was founded on the idea that kings and queens were had their heads up their asses who in their high towers where they dare not suffer truth, fuck the world up for self indulgence

And now the kings and queens of gamedev have had their way with us, right on our own soil, where no one questioned any of it. Every move made towards more monopoly was celebrated. Every downsized storefront, every company gobbled up by massive corporations.

Every step for the past decade has been towards total control by those who have no love for games, but their own pocket books.

It's such a simple concept. But bank notes don't actually have any fucking value. They only have value when you empower hard working and talented people to compete against each other to produce things of increasing value. That's the only system that has ever worked in all of human history. But no, we all fell over ourselves so Bobby Fucking Kotick and John Ricitellio could get the high scores in market manipulation and employee exploitation.

It's actually fucking painful to think about how stupid and weak we have gotten as a people. We've become so spoonfed of our reality, of how things are meant to work, that most people wouldn't wipe their own ass unless they had express permission from the corrupt powers that be.

The sheer volume of incompetence and decay has my head spinning. I could go on a tangent about how fucked we are, how the systems that is meant to find and educate and train talent are so far gone that it will take YEARS just before we can start to foster new talent and then YEARS still before that talent is able to produce games as good as we had YEARS ago.

Our industry is too fucking incompetent to understand how incompetent we have become. How far behind we are the studios we had 10 years ago.

This is to say nothing of how stupified the consumers are today. Gamers used to have autonomy and were more engaged in culture. We used to have our own communities and websites and means of finding new games. And there was just a lot more organic avenues for passionate people to find each other and network.

And now we just live in this really synthetic and regulated, and manipulated reality where everyone is just removed from all agency. Want to watch something? Just look at the recommended feed. Want to buy a game? What's on the top sellers list?

The gamedevs of yesterday used to make flash games and trade their demo's on floppy disk. It required gumption to get started, it took effort to get your product out there.

We have this automated nanny state of social engineering that just sucks random people out of our schools and throws them onto dev teams. And we are so far removed from baseline competency in tech, or how to meet even remedial standards that teams have honestly no idea how poor their performances are. Everyone is competing against the other lukewarm pool across the street.

Same old neckbeard shit.

I had a thought last night as I was tidying up my poject. We are REALLY knocking on the door of finally adding in the weapons, adding in the bonuses, the shops, the world. And it was this great feeling.

And then I thought about how on most teams all this work would be distributed among many hands, and how none of them see the forest for the trees, and how teams get tunnel vision getting really good at making unplayable tech demos.

Somewhere along the line, we lost sight of how to even make a video game. And the notion that you could just take an existing game, shove some new art in it, add +1 to the number at the end and it would be passable just fucked everything.

We are relearning in realtime that games are not that easy to make, it's actually really fucking difficult, and even with laser focus and caring ONLY about making a good game, our dissonances and our fallibilities will poison our perception of the world and lead us to believe falsehoods about the chances of our team and our games' success.

We used to understand that Walt Disney, that Shigeru Miyamoto, that creative powerhouses like Jim Henson were not garden variety creatives, that you couldn't just shove a few hundred people into a building and hope a few of the new recruits were going to know how to make the secret sauce.

You can't piecemeal together a fantastic team of game developers and expect to be able to create a complex mixture of art and technical innovation. Only in a large pool of creatives, where many millions are given their chance to expiriment and hone their craft do we get creative leaders that can properly manage many heads to work in an assembly line in the purpose of manufacturing these incricate projects with so many potential points of failure.

For so many years we sat here and bitched and moaned about this. And for so long I felt like I was mad. Why is no one saying anything? How si the world so stupid? Why does no one care?

And for so very long everyone was more than happy to let the illusion role. No one had the spine to tell it like it is. It's actually amazing to me that in this entire industry there were no past employees, no existing whistleblowers, non journalists that could get the message out.

It's actually terrifying to know how immune to truth this world is. You'd think there would be more people who gave a damn and fought for what is just and fair. That as a people we would care about the evil festering, the decay, the terrible future setting in. People lay low, they don't rock the boat, and they look down on everyone who is suffering outside the ship of fools.

No, people just want to fit in with the underhanded weak willed jokers around them, from the very top all the way down to the bottom. Everyone bowing down, bare ass up in the air, reveling at the feet at the emperors with no clothes.

I sat down to talk more about gamedev, I am actually really excited about where SeaCrit is right now and I can't wait to get back to work. I'm very tired today and needed a breather, we've been going HARD lately and kicking ass.

But what's the point of talking about gamedev? No one gives a fuck. People only give a shit about the sensational culture war bullshit. Are you friend or foe? Do I have to destroy this person, or are they going to scratch my back?

All is tribalism.

I'm so glad we have this project, and who knows what the future holds? All these years I thought we'd die in a ditch some day some loser idiot that worked on a ret@rded fish game. But more and more I'm starting to think we might actually make some waves, not JUST because the culture in this disgusting industry is changing, but buecause I think after all these years, while everyone else was tongueing one another, we were actually holding ourselves to standards, pushing this boulder up the mountain and growing stronger.

I have never felt so batshit fucking crazy as I do now. If I were to read this blog post 7 years ago I would think I was a total fucking nut case. Maybe I am. Oh well, back to work soon. Maybe the next blog entry we'll actually talk some game dev and not just spew a bunch of crazed bullshit.