For better or worse, dislodging these semantic blockages into the void of the internets has become a bit of our routine as we gear up to get some work done. Speaking of, FEELING GOOD TODAY! Hoping for a solid session as we inch towards the game coming together.

So many of the same tired topics coursing through our brain. Are we just rehashing the same musings of prior blogs?

I want to talk about "The Ceiling" again, and what an important concept this is to have in mind. Will we be able to break that glass ceiling? Can we push forward new systems and experiences that build on this wondrous field of tech, story telling, systems of progression and excitement?

Or are we just spinning wheels in mud? Are we just indulging false notions of grandeur?

How much do we keep playing the fool? How much do we indulge our growing optimism that we ARE kicking ass, that we DO know what we are doing, that we are heading in an incredibly exciting direction and development has been going swimmingly as all our predictions that we have been driven crazy by for many years now are coming true?

The ass lickers and shit kickers are failing, resoundingly so. The stench of empire built of sand and refuse on the shoreline as pulled into the nothing from whence it came. 

We are in a tremendously good position while also being numb to the pain of it all. I could go another 4 god aweful years I feel. I feel somewhat healthy, I feel emboldened as ever and the fish game is coming online.

AND THIS IS NOT EVEN OUR FINAL FORM MOTHER FUCKERS.

We have not been building to a paltry piss in the wind thimbleful drivel of game to mince into little trailers and deceive some group of investors to sink their bullshit money into, or to grab the attention of the unwashed masses for some crowd funding scam.

SeaCrit is AUTHENTIC. It has more depth than even I remember. I love the days when I'm working on the project and I'll test some item really fast and I'm reminded, "Oh right, I have shields in the game and they're fucking awesome and they have incredible custom bonus mechanics and movement systems that run flawlessly on a host of devices.

As the game begins to show a sliver of its potential, that knee jerk reaction of "oh this game is actually pretty good" is actually a tiny sliver of all the shit I have coming online.

Holy shit, it's a delicate line mulling over all this crap, because one one hand "Wooo! We're gonna kick ass, we have so much cool shit lined up and it's all going FUCKING AWESOMELY!" On the other hand it's like... holy shit I'm just one fucking dude and there's only so much time in the day and the world still fucking sucks ass as we don't have a single fucking hand of help making what could be an amazing project.

What a ditchotomy, from one angle is nothing but anger and regret at what was lost, at what could have been over these fucked up years, as this industry decays, as the tech stagnates, as the shit kickers hoarded all the money and toys to themselves and used it to light themselves on fire.

On the other hand I feel like we're in a REALLY fucking good spot right now surrounded by jokers and jack asses with a project that could not possibly be shaping up at a better time!

I've been saying this for 4 years now, but I  truly think the game will start feeling like a game within the next couple weeks assuming my health holds in there. No holiday season for Ill Tempered Tuna, usually I get depressed this time of year, but right now I'm kinda ok with it all. This is the path we were given, we didn't choose to be hunkered down in a cave cast out from "polite society", but I've grown accustomed to it.

So these backscratchers will be enjoying their egg nogs and their fancy gifts they bought from Amazon, and they'll exchange their pleasantries and they'll talk shit about the degenerate demons that are going to ruin their industry.

And this degenerate demon will be here at 3 am making comits keeping the fires of gamedev alive, fueled by blood, sweat, and tears.

Rofl, do we take these blogs too seriously? Do we take gamedev too seriously?

I sure the fuck hope so. 

To war.