We really should probably be doing this more often. There are so many cool things coming online in so many ways that I've never catalogued here in the blogs. I generally use this space to bitch and moan since gamedev seems so boring to most readers. 

At the 11:20 second mark this song hits hard

It's the weirdest thing. For so long we were full of piss and vinegar and we were fighting for our lives to stand up to this mad machine. And every single day we dragged our worthless ass out of bed angry and ready to fight for the good of the world. And now that that big machine seems to be collapsing... what's left? 

Where is all the meaning and competition in life and tangible systems and rules to foster that competition so we could have that fire in our bellies.

We are now in a nothing, we are all washed ashore surrounded by the wreck of society wondering WTF are we doing?

I am not devoid of purpose, as I imagine many feel right now. We have our SeaCrit, we still have our purpose to make the best fucking game we can do in our lonesome and to show all these idiologues how it's done. But I can't help but feel there could be so much more.

There are no more adults in the room. There is no structure, there are no wise people guiding us and helping us to grow.

We have been living through some pretty shallow and nonesensical times and I never expected the landscape to change so quickly. One day we were dreading the iron fist of the moral tyrants kicking and screaming and posturing and gatekeeping everyone in this indsutry.

And now what? Where do we turn? Who are the movers and shakers to ally with? Who do we collaborate with?

I'm fine with seeking my own path and trying to make it on my own, obviously, it's how we got this far. But it's a bizzare feeling working in this cave and so much chaos outside to know that the whole of humanity has simultaniously dropped the ball and shat the bed so fucking hard.

All this decay, all this deteriorating character and culture and pipelines and meritocracy was actually worse than we ever feared. And the quick dissolution of this industry is in  some ways a good thing, but in many others it's so damned sad.

We are now in this wild west wasteland with rubble all around us, bodies littering the floor, screams around us, the optimism bleeds out, the gratefulness is long in the dirt. The discarded bodies lay scattered about as the war finally begins to come to an end.

No one won.

I titled this blog fires at midnight, because we're finding ourselves more somber and mellow now, with a more reliable but less intense sense of purpose. But I kinda miss the fire, I miss that heat burning underneath that claws at the soul to get up and fight against the dying of the light.

One problem to the next! ALWAYS!

The game is kicking ass, for that I am grateful. But there is still mass uncertainty, there is still confusion, and we are no longer alone in this. And that is not a good thing.

We need to find a way to rebuild.

In the meantime, Thick as a Brick is hitting hard as shit right now.

"and your wise men don't know how it feee eee ee eeeeeeeels... to be thick.... as a brick"

Well they do now. Welcome to the club everyone.

Nothin' else to do but pick up  the pieces and get back to makin' games the hard way... the only way. Roll up the sleeves and get to fucking work.

Tomorrow that is! Sick as a dog today, not the usual kind of sick though, the normal flue/ cold kind, which is great! I  can do this any day! Health has been holding in strong, game is going great (I think, who the fuck knows). Going to be adding enemies and shops and more sea to explore in the very near future. Pipelines for level design are FINALLY online.

Dev is going well even if the world has gone totally up its own ass and batshit crazy :)