And I got to thinking about how vulnerable this makes us. We've said a lot of shit here people will take offense to, we've blathered some pretty self incriminating stuff. We've said shit that people can rightly point to and say, "Hey, this guy's a fucking asshole". And in this eternally butthurt world, this isn't the smart play.

To say nothing of those who have jumped ship, who have now that the tides begun to turn, buried their heads in the sand, refuse to face reality and wish to imagine the truth away. Social media was great when THEY had their fingers on the kill switches. Cancelings were fine and dandy when it was their ideological enemies being destroyed. No matter how undeserved. All falsehoods and slanders about everyone was fully accepted, because their portion of the pie was always getting bigger and bigger. The whole of humanity came together, not for the greater good, but to demonize and destroy the other.

So for a day I was thinking to myself. No more emotion, no more putting ourselves out there so these people can look in from the shadows, from their hate bubbles and judge. So they can let their hate fester as we put ourselves out there and take every opportunity to demean and place marks.

"It's not fair"

Well... life isn't fair. If it's our destiny to put ourselves out there, act the fool, be demonized and hated and made the mark of all their self fulfilling hates and grievances, so be it.

Is it fair? Have we ever gone out of our way to hurt or demean anyone unjustly? Have we ever sought to tribalize or collude or suppress or any of the myriad of underhanded shit that these assholes now project onto the rest of the world?

Nope!

Yes we are angry, yes we are resentful, yes we are bitter. And unlike them, I did not concoct imaginary bogymen, I didn't form opinions of anyone based on their beliefs or orientations or whatever the fuck anyone wants to reach for. But seeing so many others stoop to these otherings has been so fucking depressing :(

It is what it is.

I'm actually proud of how long we've suffered this shit without going totally rage mode. Without abandoning all hope in these assholes, because if you're honest with yourself you can feel these same  elements in yourself. And you can see this pettiness in those on your own side. Now that the winds are shifting I'm seeing the same bullshit opportunists emerging in new corners, just as we knew would happen. The same fucking gatekeeping, the same fucking smarm, the same cliques forming from a new branch of do nothing brown nosers in their cults of personalities drawing arbitrary lines in the sand.

The world continues to spin.

We'll never be on the winning side, we will never capitulate these smarm fucks, wherever they hail from. We're just not built for that!

Despite all this unfairness, despite all the madness, despite the raw deals and slaps in our face, we have taken a great deal of joy in building what I hope will soon be a quality game. And who knows, maybe it will be so good that it transcends the gatekeeping and bullshit, you just never know. Could be delusions of granduer, maybe we're cruisin for a bruisin' believing our own stupid self serving bullshit.

Anyhow! Let's talk about the game really fast.

I THINK, I FINALLY BELIEVE we may be building up the world today. I've been frustrated for so long because I haven't developed the perfect pipeline for creating the game. And I think I figured it out. 

There is no perfect pipeline.

There are a myriad of tools and setups we can employ and will employ to create a complex assortment of assets that exist in various layers, with various unique shaders, and physics systems, that sometimes need to be unique setups and sometimes should be prefabs. Sometimes they should be unique, sometimes they should be prearranged assortments. Sometimes we should build out "chunks" of reusable squares of geo and environment and sometimes we should build up the world piece by piece, and sometimes we can take those elements and rearrange them to be prepackaged prefab arrangements.

Whew, we could sit around for hours stressing these technical limitations, and stress the edge cases that will arise in the scene, at runtime, in our folder structures, in our naming conventions, the mass bugs, the features we should implement to avoid these bugs, and on and on and on. And that's just to get the levels up and running!

HOLY SMOKES there is so much to stress about in this stupid, resentful world of slander and delusion.

No point harpin' on it though.

We got some pretty ok sleep, we're feeling pretty ok, and come to think of it, I'm not TOTALLY burned out on the project in this moment. So perhaps finally, FINALLY we will begin to build up the world!

Doesn't matter what the disruptors and the naysayers think. They can have their hate, they can have their preconcieved notions, they can sit in their circles of haters and affirm the world is evil and full of assholes.

Self fulfilling prophecy. If you treat other people like shit, if you think everyone else are a bunch of scumbag assholes. Don't be surprised when they repay that in kind. I look forward to a day when we're able to engage with each other again, work together again, trust each other again, love each other again. But that's not going to happen any time soon. In the meantime the world will kick and scream and turn blue in the face.

Do whatever you want, hate, point fingers, kick scream, your life to waste.

Time to get to devin'!