I'm frustrated.

I'm frustrated because I had in mind the perfect fucking s*ng for this blog, and I can't remember what it is.

Let me preface this writing by saying it is only be the grace of incredible, unconditionally loving women that I had the opportunity and strength to push this project forward over these rocky years.

It is regrettable how divided our world is. It makes me so damned sad to see so many people demonizing one another, and seeing monsters in every corner. And my heart does go out.

But there's a fucking line.

If we are to denigrate and persecute others over superficial lines of preconceived notions... are we the good guys and gals?

There is evil in this world, there is bigotry, there is greed,  there is exploitation. And it lives in us all. The strong will exploit the weak. But the strong will also defend the weak. 

And I'm going to be frank here, I am done being under the boot of the weak, under the spit of the fakes, the jokers, and the back scratchers. I am sick of our hearts and minds being poisoned by fears, steered by foolhardy plays of power, and by self affirming subversion.

Out of respect of all the good people on all sides going through hard times in this mad world. I have refrained from celebration. I have refrained from expressing validation and hope and optimism knowing others are fearing the worst. I am truly sorry so many are having a rough time right now.

But there that line. And it was crossed long ago. And the good people on the other side are sick and fucking tired of these witch trials. Of having our noses shoved in shit. Of having our futures our careers spit on and desecrated with glee for the sins of the past.

How are we supposed to feel? All these judgements by the victims of this world. All these daggers in back from the accepting and kind. The conniving and the undercutting from the virtuous.

I try not to air my personal life on this blog. My ramblings should have no impact on anyone but myself. But there are people in this world that are depending on this project to some day become successful. And the same forces that have negatively impacted this industry, our careers, our futures, our sanity, threaten their futures as well.

I started this blog wanting to celebrate, to pump our fists and for once take solace in the turning tides, but all I'm finding is sadness and anger as I type.

HOW MANY OF THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES DID WE FUCKING LOSE? JUST WHEN WE WERE GETTING OUR SHIT TOGETHER AND BUILDING A LIFE THESE VILE LIES EMERGE.

HOW MANY WONDEROUS DAYS LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE BUILDING A BETTER INDUSTRY WERE BLED INTO THIS NOTHING?

THESE SMARM FUCKS PIT US AGAINST ONE ANOTHER, SET THE BUILDING AFIRE, AND KICKED US OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW, LAUGHING AS WE FELL. 

PAINTED AS MONSTERS, NOSES SHOVED IN SHIT. 

ALL THOSE YEARS OF DEDICATION BUILDING OUR INDUSTRY PISSED INTO THE WIND. IRREVERANT CODDLING AMONG THE LIMP DICKS AND THE PETULANT. 

THESE NAMBY PAMBY FUCKS DECLARED THEMSELVES THE SAVIORS OF THIS WORLD AS THEY SPUN THE THREADS THAT BIND US TO THEIR MADNESS.

JUDGE, JURY, AND EXECUTIONER.

GET

FUCKED

Better to be angry than succumb to the helplessness. 

We can't give a shit any more. We've been slandered and spit on, and stabbed at for so long the pain means nothing. We've been numb for some time. None of the judgment, none of the fucking money, none of their prestige or their influence amounts to a hill of fucking beans to me.

Take your ill gotten fuckign bank notes, and CRAM THEM UP YORU ASS

The past week has been an incredible rollercoaster. I feel absolutely manic. Transitioning from hopefulness, to anger, to regrets and fear. Ping ponging all over. We feel impending redemption, a turning of the tide. But that can be snapped in an instance.

Who knows what the future holds?

Our world is a mess, our morality is scattered, our good will towards our fellow man strangled.

We weren't crazy, we weren't wrong, the world is fucking insane. The world DOES think we're disgusting monsters that need suppressing, and they have enriched themselves to the fullest extent pushing this lie.

How do we move forward? How do we move past the lies and meet each other face to face in the world of the tangible, in the middle, in the light of truth? How do we return to a world where we acknowledge no one is perfect, the world where everyone has their baggage, the world where there's no security of the black and white on which to rely? 

But a world where we face our imperfections and seek to mend them.

Whew, I put on this EPIC FUCKING Tchaikovsky BANGER OF ALL BANGERS, and now I feel compelled to create this nevernding blog post to crest and wave with the violins and cannon fire. But somewhere between going over to youtube and returning to our blog we lost our train of thought.

Maybe it's for the best.

Going to take a few minutes to just enjoy this one.

...

How rarely do we take the time to close our eyes and just enjoy the simple things. No distractions, no silly video pumped full of adds and volleyed at the hordes of lowest common denominators?

Whichever state you may be in, dread, joy, hopefulness, take a moment to just enjoy this classic composition. We don't allow ourselves enough time to savor the finer things, to appreciate them, to connect with them and aspire to those things again.

How do you not love these classics? What an abject banger. And it's a reminder. We are NOT the superiors. These mother fuckers were putting out works of a caliber we don't even attempt to match in this post modern destitution. We're too fucking good to aspire to such heights, we're too fucking compassionate to hold ourselves to such standards of beauty. To build such a wonderous and great world is so fucking passé.

Can't buy that shit with virtue, so relegate it to the problematic annuls of history.

I don't know how to wrap up this blog. It's a confusing time to be alive. We're been painted monsters and villains, we've felt the dancing above as we rotted to dirt below.

Do we yelp and cheer? Do we rise above and swoop down turning into that terror they feared we were? Do we give into the same petty yearning of revenge they drank on year on dreadful year, the deathly cancelations they so gleefully wielded against us?

No.

Only feeds the forever machine of endless cycles of violence. Only vindicates their depraved actions and accusations.

We're going to kill them with kindness.

We're going to mock them with creations so wonderous and pure as to make them weep.

We're going to taker our brotherhood back. We're going to bring our sisters back. We're going to drag you petty, dicklet fucks kicking and screaming back into the light. 

There are unwritten rules in this world. One of those is that we men are expendable. That we are slaves to the grind, that our lives are forfeit. Our lot in life is to fight and war to create things of value, with little celebration, knowing some other assholes will always be nipping at our heals. This is the cost of propserity. And being above the back scratching, and surrendering to the hard work ahead we put our heads down and allowed the demeanings, and the kicks and the spit. Now year over year here we are. In our empire of dirt. Lot of good laying low and not making a fuss did us. Taking the insults, letting the two faced break ranks and forge alliances with others of their kind.

Giving up the levers of power was a mistake. Allowing them to topple the generation's good so mindfully tended was a mistake.

Whether you like it or not we're going to Make Gamedev Great Again, 

MGGA, MAN

ROFL, we're such a dork. Probably why we're makin a silly little video game ;). Anyhow!

KICKING AND SCREAMING M*THER FUCKERS