What if our project is no good?

What if it's good but the world turns a blind eye?

What if we're no good and just too crazy to see?

Been stressed by all the distractions in the world as of late. You would think that working on an indie game we would keep our focus here and try to insulate ourselves from all the madness out there, but no. We find ways to tie ourselves to other movements and allow ourselves to maximize the number of fronts on which we can obtain failure.

Got banned on the Redot discord forum, that was fun. Same usual namby pambies in every single corner of social media with an itchy finger for banning everyone.

I feel more outcast than ever. I thought things would slowly get better, I thought we'd see more opportunities opening up, more people speaking their minds.

But all that's happened is everyone has shut the fuck up. Sometimes I feel like the only damned gamedev in the world that talks about this shit openly.

We're either supremely stupid or supremely crazy.

Right or wrong. Crazy or sane. Bully or victim.

This is the only thing I am sure of...

We have to get back to work on the game.

Been getting a few hits on it, but haven't really heard any feedback one way or another. Which kinda stings. You'd like to hear after 8 years working on a forsaken game people would at least be engaged enough to say "Hey, that was ok".

It's easy to wonder if this has all been wasted time. If all future work is wasted time and this entire project, our entire existence is one giant fucking joke.

But that doesn't help anything at this point.

Too far gone, nothing left to do but put our head down and get to work. Didn't feel great today but forcing work tomorrow rain or shine.

Too much worrying, too much shooting our mouth of trying to fight others' battles. 

Not enough doing.

I feel like we need a win to keep going, to prove we're not insane and this project has value. But that never stopped us before. So per usual, fuck the world, nothin' better to do than keep pushin' this boulder up the mountain, one inch at a time as the world crumbles around us.