This song carries this message better than I ever could.

For all our finger pointing, we are a bit of an insufferable prick ourselves.

I'm finding myself excited about this industry's downfall. I'm running up to tell it on the mountains to express my deep satisfaction that others are falling from their high towers. The bullies and their cabals are falling! It is terribly satisfying, the vindication, the pent up anger and resentment finally quelling a bit, but I can't help but have this uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Are we just as petty and vindictive? Are we losing sight in the project and finding these exterior sources of satisfaction beyond the hard work that lies before us?

I find myself thinking "maybe we can become successful now", "Maybe in this emerging world the project is already good enough".

I can feel the fire to excel and execute within me dwindling, just as I saw it dwindle in others. And I don't like that, not one fucking bit.

I find myself rushing to the front of the mob wanting to be first in line for the reparations of all these horrible years. Maybe I can get some engagement. Maybe we can get some eyes on our posts or our project. After all these years of bitching and moaning I find myself uniquely equipped to say key tweets and truths that can really get the jab in about these terrible social injustices that have occurred in this industry in real  time as happenings erupt in this space in regards to this industry failing. What a petulant fuck I am.

If I take a step back, if I try to take myself out of this moment and look at the longer journey we sought to embark on at the start of this project, I don't like what we're turning into. It doesn't matter how the path has been and what others have done.

We are still accountable for our own actions.

We still have a path to success that doesn't entail kicking up the hornets nest, that doesn't entail petty theatrics or back scratching or shoving others' noses in dirt.

Maybe I'm cocky, maybe I'm just being a self aggrandized doucher. But for whatever reason, I think SeaCrit is good enough that maybe we can succeed without playing this modern bullshit game of victimhood and brown nosing.

Maybe I regret it in the future, maybe i'm just playing some sort of game of pretentiousness leapfrog trying to front or whatever. I don't know. I try to be honest. Am I manipulating you readers (are any of you even out there?). Have I already conned myself and convinced myself that I am the good guy and that i'm on a holy quest and I will use the same delusions that I used to convince myself that I am righteous to convince others?

Truthfully, I don't think it really matters. I think we're all prone to these notions of self importance, and grandiose delusions.

This is a really roundabout way of saying we're going to get back to focusing on the game.

I'm not going to lie, I'm really going to want to post about politics and falling empires, and culture wars and shit, and I probably will. But I don't know. I always think I'm making my mind up and that we'll be a bigger person and then I ultimately find some reason to go against my word.

It's a very intense and crazy and high stakes moment in this world. And i'm not sure we fully grasp what is happening. Entire generations and workforces are up in the air right now. We as a people have ceased to understand just how to be. How to be productive people who can get along with one another.

Bleh, here I go again being an insufferable neckbeard, but then I get to thinking again, if I don't say this shit, WHO THE HELL WILL!

I see a void in this crazy world, and if I say shit, I feel like an insufferable know it all jackass. And if I don't say anything, EVERYTHING JUST GOE TO SHIT!

Maybe we talk to much and we were asking for it... asking for it, asking for it.

We can blame  bad luck hahah. Oh I love this song, and I enjoy running my mouth a bit too much. What can I say? Except EVERYTHING.

What a stupid fucking blog post.

Oh whoa is me, this industry that screwed me over is falling apart I feel so bad about it, and I can't say anything bad because wah then i'll feel bad.

Nothing makes sense to me any more, even my own ambitions and my own ethics. I just feel weird. Like what an asshole I am for taking joy in others' downfalls. But good god were they smarmy  lazy shits.

I don't know, I don't know what i'm trying to say. I'm usually able to finish  these blogs really strong and rally around an uplifting feeling or anectdote, but I'm really just conflicted.

I think it's ok to end this blog post there. At least we're honest. At least we can see ourselves for who we are and see the pettiness within us. Maybe we shouldn't  be lecturing others, or pointing fingers.

I know there is good in us, I know there is good in others, but sometimes we let petty elements within us eclipse those things, especially when we have the crowd at our backs.

Today we had the crowd at our backs, and though I don't feel as though we're in the wrong, I don't want to become accustomed to partaking in this mob rule.

I will be attempting to tone things down and get back to work on the game. I'm glad we make this blog post, I feel a lot better now.

Sure, we're petty, we're human, but we're also honest. And we're going to strive for better.