Just kidding, our broke ass doesn't have any money! XD XD XD...    :/

So we managed to get banned on the Unity forums (Yes, again). And though I consider it to be censorship and total fucking b*llshit, if I cool my jets, if I take a step back. The fact of the matter is, I MAY have called the mods shitheads to their face in direct messaging. Which if I remember the forum rules correctly, isn't allowed. Get this, I was told because I called some bullying dick head a "prick" that I couldn't post any more. What a bunch of namby pamby fucking losers. But I'm not bitter!

I allowed myself to get hot headed after the usual tribalism and speech suppression that happens in this industry. I don't know, maybe i'm reading into it too much.

I probably shouldn't taint this blog with my mundane day to day inane bitching and tribulations. This is where I get to come into a void and pretend to be wise and have my shit together. And we do! In this space we are competent and strong, and respectable (I hope to some degree) but out in the wilds on the sequestered battlefields of "open" forums where one side rules with an iron fist, you're not in an fair fight.

They will subversively poke and prod at you and when you finally meet their aggressions after being mocked, and pushed around, and having most removed for the most bullshit reasons, they will drop the hammer. This is nothing new, this is just the base nature of authority and those in tribe B thinking their helping everyone from the inane ramblings of tribe A.

Ugh, this is so much wasted energy over a temporary forum ban. Maybe it's time we grow the fuck up XD.

This is a good period for us to focus and just enjoy the Unity forums. It kinda stings because I was doing my best to try to root the team on and support them and engage in positive conversations, but these big headed mods are going to do the big headed mod thing. When you have a hammer everything looks like a nail.

It's easy to read into things too much, is this why this happened? Is this way this happened? GRRRR that makes me so angry if that's the case. Things always spiral out of control over assumptions, I'm sure they made assumptions about me in the meantime. 

It is what it is! So we're the outcast loudmouth working on our own game outside their empire of madness. We're pretty comfortable here!

Noting stopping us from working on the game in the meantime... well except diminished health. I tried working out the other day and the breathlessness hit hard. So i've been bedridden the past couple days. I'm trying fasting, don't think it'll work but who knows, it's worth a shot. 1 day in, going to go for another day. Feeling a touch better but it's always demoralizing to know we are one overexertion physically from causing us to go in a downward spiral. Like what the heck is even causing this? It's scary to think about so I try not to think about it too much. I just try to eat well and exercise to a safe degree I guess, i gotta be better about staying consistent, long light workouts, not shorter intense ones, which goes against every fiber in my being XD. (I try not to blather about this stuff too much, I know even to sympathetic readers, this topic is such a damned downer)

Whew, what an insufferable neckbeard I am. You can't win online. If you say something smart, people who hate you will hate you even more for it and try to cut you down. Say something stupid, and they will REALLY cut into you. It creates this downward spiral and I don't think the dominant faction understands what sort of meat grinder they are for conscientious objections.

I don't regret in the slightest calling these power happy shit heads "shit heads". These triallist fucks can eat shit. Thanks for silencing me and then subsequently banning me fuckers. HOW COULD ANYONE BANISH SOMEONE SO LEVEL HEADED AS I!?

What I DO regret is giving them the ammunition to do so. I said a naughty word in a private chat after their absolutely egregious and uncalled for moderations. It truly makes me sick to my stomach to see this sort of tired bullying from the usual dominant party.

Oh well, just gotta be more coy about how we engage on that forum. They are legally obligated to take action for these "micro aggressions" it's not like I can even be that mad about it. They're just doing what they are legally obligated to do. 

That's one strike against us though, one mod decision away from never being able to say anyting else again, even when this line of communication is super important to our potential livelihood and the livlihood of those who depend on us. Maybe it's time that for a little bit I suck it up and play nice at least outside this blog. God wouldn't that be nice if we could just control our tongue?

But the world got this bad because everyone didn't say shit. 

I want to end with this. I may get heated with people in these neckbeard online discussoins. But I only raise my aggression to match the subversive and aggressive behaviors of others. This is how these shitty moralists took over the world and caused everything to go to shit. No one ever calls them out, no one ever sees through their petty, petulant, weak bullshit. They sit on the outskirts, act above all the pettiness while insulating themselves with other moralists as they hurl microaggressions (did I just non ironically use that term?) 

One could argue, hey IllTemperedTuna, you fucking d*p shit. No one else is spouting insufferable bullshit. No one else is shooting their mouth off and causing any divides, everyone else is playing nice and getting along. And to that I would say 'How fucking D@RE you be sensible. But truthfully, there's a lot of history here, there's a lot of pent up anger after being treated like shit from the shadows for years and years and years. There's a solid chance they read this blog post (hey fuck heads, why not message the mods here and get me banned u shits?) What else do I have to lose that these assholes can take from me? They took my industry. They took my dignity, they took my ability to post and converse and engage in the conversation about what this industry should be.

That's the thing, everyone thinks they're the prudent one. Everyone thinks they're the middle of the road keeping things sensible as everything goes to crap. And yet with all the communal transgressions mounted high above, here we are at the guillotine drop. It's REALLY FUCKING EASY to outcast the other. To isolate yourself, to affirm your side to have full control and that it's everyone else's fault they're kicked into dirt. You're eating well because you're the good one.

After all the bullshit of the past decade, god forbid anyone hold anyone else accountable FOR A SINGLE MOMENT for the division and hate that has been allowed to festered COMPLETELY out of control. 

BAH!

Have I become the Karen? Have we become the bully? I don't fucking know. Probably reading into this too much. We have enough on our plate, we have a game to make.

For years these soft handed jackoffs have poisoned this industry, for months they have mocked and jeared and canceled and destroyed. And now what is it. "You're just a whiney conspiracy theorist".

FUCK

YOU

It's a mad, mad world.

We're probably going to regret this one. Such is the lot of those who dare speak out of turn while everyone else feeds at the trough of the machine. Someone has to do it, wish I wasn't the only one putting their ass on the line, but here we are. 

Cast out, shamed, mocked, the butt of jokes. All for trying to ensure the slightest bit of fairness in this mad, stupid world. 

Waa, waa, bitch moan. I know what this looks like from the outside. Must be nice to have those cushy positions where all you have to do is circle jerk the asshole next to you for your daily pound of flesh, not rock the boat, filate one another's egos in this soft parade while others carry the torch.

Sometimes I wonder if we're just bored. Do we do this just to bring some excitement to the monotony? 

No, we're pretty fucking angry. The unfairly and insanely, the circle jerks, the absolute resentment and lack of accountability from those in their high towers. Can you believe I told myself "No crazy posts until you calm down and sleep on it a bit?". Probably should have followed that advice, but here we are. If we were risk averse, we'd be somewhere feeding the machine as everything goes to shit, but I repeat myself.

Always caught in the usual dilemma. "We have to be careful not to be real, can't be CRAZY, people are so delicate these days, the lashes come out from the smallest of infractions. This is how we got in this cave to begin with..." 

But that's exactly how this world fell to ruin. I COULD sell out, I could shut TF up, smile and nod and enjoy my own little chunk of dirt as the rats on spin the wheel. We're just not built for that. Anyway, we're just wastin' time here anyhow making enemies, among those I thought maybe we could be united with. Same old shit. No one cares, no one gives a shit for the bigger picture, everyone's worried about their little chunk of dirt and ill gotten moral high grounds. Everyone's falling over themselves for their "fair share" of the chunk of flesh.