Here's what an attack ability script looks like if i disable all the sorting mechanisms:

If one tiny thing changes, whether it be a bug, or a tiny adjustment to balance, it's finding a needle in a haystack in order to fix things up to be functional and fun again. To say nothing of the myriad of other systems that feed global values to the attack and ability systems, like my datamanager.Instance.combatvalues. The unique particle systems, the sounds, etc. It's one giant complex mechanism with complex components all referencing each other in ways that have changed and evolved over the years as I became more competent.

I've coded sorting system to help add some level of sanity to the mass amounts of logic that stairs me in the face every time I go to tune things. Just organizing stuff creates entirely new levels of logic and bugs and upkeep, it's easy to lose track of the amount of work that needs doing because it's impossible for us to fathom the grand design. I can't even grasp the full complexities of these ability scripts at a given time and it's just one small fraction of the game, and every system interacts with all others which is why dev has taken so long and is so damned draining.

It's hard to let go of the notion that things don't have to be perfect when competition in this space is so strong, and we have to be better than all other projects as we have no backing or resources. Just a neckbeard with an idiot dream.

It's easy to obsess about how our combat will not have the depth of other games, sequels to huge franchises with hundreds of specialized workers creating a throng of high level animations, ability systems, progression systems, slick UI, etc by developers who have multiple titles in the genre under their belts. All culminating into a wonderous system that pushes the envelope at the highest levels.

I remind myself that our strength will not be in the raw quality of each individual system, the art assets, the fancy UI, all that fancy stuff.

What gives us a fighting chance is what I believe will be the synchronicity of all these systems in tandem. The inventive ways class mechanics, charge mechanics, this simple yet robust 3 button input system elevates the itemization and class nuances between ranged and melee. The compelling shop purchasable bonuses sandwiched with bonuses found in the field of battle, bolstered further by the randomness of item drops. Topped off with what I hope will be a refreshing story and dialogue.

GOSH DAMN we have a lot to do.

As always, thrilling  but intimidating. I'm excited to pull this off... burned out as hell though. Every day we trick our brain into thinking we just need to go a BIT further as things trudge on and on and on. We are getting further, the light at the end of this cave is glowing brighter.

Ok, enough whining.

This blog will be one of the last times I indulge "frank, stupid illtemperedtuna". As in blogging with no filters, crabby and bitter at the world, just laying it all out there because nothing matters anyhow. I was a better person when I was younger. Idealistic, ambitious, respectful. This world will bring out the worst in you if you let it. Year after year drinking myself to death, giving up on everything and watching as everything went to shit. What was the point of optimism? Why be respectful to a world that shoved you into the dirt so many years on end?

I'm doing this for myself. F*ck the world. 

But maybe if we can find in ourselves that better version, maybe that means that within others' there's a better version too. Maybe we're all victim to this decay, maybe acting like irate f*ckbags, angry at everyone else for being self serving only makes things worse.

This is obvious.

We can either go on like this, enjoying that impulsive highs of knee jerk slander and hostility till we're 6 feet in the mud we've kicked ourselves into. Or we can grow the fuck up. Unlock pride we once had, the restraint, and the class we once enjoyed. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by letting go of this petulant nonsense.

I'm going to miss acting like a goofball in these blogs, running my mouth, taking out my anger screaming into the void. But I'm also not going to miss it.

I am greatly looking forward to a fresh start, and I am also greatly looking forward to SeaCrit coming together and showing its potential just as we, its developer.

Even now I feel as though a weight is falling from my shoulder, that the world seams to be healing and the potential for positive growth is taking root.

For too long I have bitched and moaned about the smarm fucks. The petty tribalists, the this and that. Who gives a damn. Losers sit around and whine. And if I'm honest, I've been the biggest smarm fuck of all.

Be the change you want in this fucked up world.