Going to have to take a break today, thought i'd keep up a bit of work but it's really draggin' me down so it's time for a deep breath and to be useless for a bit.

I NEVER thought I would ever have this problem. In the past it was always, how do we get the drive back? How do we convince ourselves to get back to work and push this forward through the burnout?

I want nothing more than to push forward and get this all online now that it seems to be coming together, but my brain just feels like mush as of late and it's hard to concentrate and getting headaches. Gotta take a break from the stress of dev and come back when we're feeling better.

I had this weird notion today, "We should put the revised spike shield on an enemy and make them hard so the player has to "earn it". And that really struck me as odd because 8+ damned years into this project and its like, "Have we not ever created a hard enemy yet and tried to balance it to be engaging and fun to fight?"

And this uncertainty hits... what if the gameplay feels cheesy? What if we make it too hard? What if we make it too easy? It's scary to think of how untested so many elements of this game are after all this time. But you gotta start somewhere!

Again, we're very excited by how things are coming online, we've got the hard parts coming online, I think it's FUN to engage in combat these days. So many nuances, so many refreshing systems and mechanics coming online that are feeling more and more tight with every day of tunings and refactorings of mechanics and setups.

Gah! It's so frustrating, just when everything starts coming online i'm feeling in the dumps again.

Good news is it's not half as bad as it was months ago. I keep saying i'll take a break, then I say i'll just work a couple hours and it ends up being 4 hours of rather intense bullcrap getting this all up and running.

Lame as it sounds goal for today is to just get a bit of sunshine and some very light cardio and try not to stress anything too much for a few days maybe.

Pretty lame blog, sometimes I wonder if I should even bother writing whiney, light blogs such as this, but it's an outlet that doesn't require too much mental energy so whatever.

Edit: Little stealth edit. Really haven't been feeling good, and it's been hard to concentrate. Pretty much bed ridden and experiencing the usual bullshit we dealt with the past year. Bright side is it's only gotten about half as bad as it has before, so not TERRIBLE but still pretty debilitating. Hoping it doesn't get any worse.

Wish I knew wtf this was, if diet contributes to it once it sets in. I have a hunch eating fatty, salty foods doesn't help once it sets in and i ate some bacon and eggs before going to sleep and woke up feeling aweful.

I dunno, just more bitching and moaning. Hope to feel better soon so we can finish this up. I'm maddeningly close to this coming together, frustrating to have to deal with this right now, but it is what it is.