Health has been up and down the past several months. Past few days it's gotten really bad. I don't now what's wrong with me, I know I have type 2 diabetes, but beyond that I have no idea. I'm incredibly frustrated, I feel caught in this Catch - 22. In order to finish this game I need to feel better, in order to feel better I need decent health coverage (maybe, I don't even know if they could even fix what's wrong with me if they found something, I just don't know), I just feel as though i'm screwed. A no one working on  a stupid game with no lifelines.

It's so weird, all these years I worried the game would fail because I wouldn't be able to make it fun enough, never thought I'd just start feeling poorly out of the blue and deteriorate one day at a time.

I really dislike making this blog post. Feels so defeatist. But it is what it is. Maybe some time in the future I feel better and I post again, I hope I do, but as it stands things just keep getting worse day after day. More frequent and lower lows, less frequent days where I just feel "ok" let alone well.

Ugh, looking more and more likely this project will just end up in the dust bin of history, to say nothing of my own life which I don't even want to think about right now.

I've felt poorly in the past and got better, fingers crossed it happens again. Wish we had a better healthcare system, wish we had other better systems that rewarded hard work and meritocracy, who knows how much further we'd be along if that were the case... well I tried, despite all the stupidity and lunacy in this world at least I gave it a solid go.