We live in a very strange world.

I don't see any end to the insanity any time soon. I'm trying not to get distracted by the insanity of it all, but I do wonder at times, "What am I doing working on this stupid fish game?"

There are a lot of nagging things to be sorted as well. Gotta get this initial level setup in. I find myself going down pointless rabbit holes. What if I found someone to shoulder some of the level design? How would I get them up to speed on the repository? How would we work in tandom. Then I think about how pointless that even is as the most sensible course of action is to just handle things myself. So self, what's the best way of budgeting our time? How do we spread what gas we have left in the tank such that we can make the best demo possible possible?

When  you start to think of your efforts as a limited resource, you are destined to failure. Gamedev demands endless frustration and investment.

So I think i'm going about this all wrong.

...and sometimes I wonder, gosh if only we didn't live in such a stupid f*cking world, maybe none of this arduous hardship would have had to happen in the first place. If only there wasn't so much division, if only there were more sanity to the structure of this industry, if only I could push just a tad further and show what this project could be.

Am I crazy? Is the game close to good? Seems odd I'm freezing up just short of the finish line.

I'm paralyzed by potential. I know how good this game can be if I can hunker down and get a couple weeks of solid work... and I feel a bit off, and i'm frustrated by this mad world, and I'm frustrated by all the things have gone wrong that feels out of my control.

Too much thinking, not enough doing.

No more thinking. Going to take a shower, going to drink a very modest ammount of coffee and i'm going to open up Unity and hopefully get at least a small ammount of work done tonight.

Going to get more level stuff done. Doesn't have to be fucking perfect, just need to get this damned show on the road, time's a waistin'.

Too many problems in this world, sitting around feeling bad about it ain't going to do sh*t... I feel like shit. Might as well feel like shit getting work done.

Quick Edit: Played the game for 30 seconds, it's pretty darned good. We don't have to move mountains here, we just gotta get some things in and release a little demo.

PERFECTION IS THE ENEMY OF PROGRESS!

Post Work Edit: Finally got some work in! Just a little baby spittle of 5  hours, but I'm giong to take it! Lots of random things done that I knew I needed doing in the back of my mind, but not things that were conciously on the to do list. The game is better, but as always, a couple weeks away from it all coming together.

Gamedev is weird. You work and work and work, and the better you get, the more you know you can improve, and the further you get from finishing.

That said, this demo IS getting closer. I can feel it. This little demo is getting pretty darned good I hope!