I spend a good bit of time finding the right tune. I'm posting some f*cking Metallica. F*CK sellouts, but as of late I've got a youthful vigor that reminds me of better times long gone. I feel renewed, reforged in the fires of gamedev. I hit the ground running day after day pumping out development at a rate I haven't in many moons. 

I'm back m*ther fuckers.

I have a confidence in SeaCrit that grows hotter by the day. For years I've shielded myself in this cloak of pessimism from the threats of optimism. I sat here in this puddle decay, satisfied that though there has been no success, I didn't expect any. Pathetic in a way, but I made progress. Drawn out, painful progress in the dark recesses of this cave.

Today I'm shedding the weakness and pessimism. Psst. Want to know a SeaCrit? SeaCrit isn't the little pissant flop of d*ck spittle I've made it out to be over all these years. It's coming together, it's been coming together at an increasingly accelerated rate for some time now and i've been perfectly content not to let the world know. For so long i yearned for eyes and ears on this, for help, for backing. But i've learned so much from this cave in my lonesome, and I hear nothing but echoes of madness from the outside world. SeaCrit has been safe in these dark recess, and if it must be cultivated here in the dark, so be it. 

The combo system has received extensive polish and revision, spawn systems have eclipsed and replaced the random spawns as the primary means of content delivery. Level design is in motion and about to f*cking EXPLODE in potential. Every day I wander in random directions making every tiny little thing better, from pipelines to play. EVERYTHING ALL TOGETHER ALL AT ONCE are coming online and I'm fucking THRILLED.

Been a hard fucking slog getting here, part of it's the trials and tribulations of gamdev, and part of it is all the lying, back scratchers and do-nothings that have gotten their claws into this medium. Things are different around here now. The long sacrifices are blossoming into fruits of hack and slash goodness. The game is finding itself, the systems that for so long dragged everything down are now coming online and each and every element is making the game BETTER. THESE ARE NOT LINEAR GAINS, THESE ARE MULTIPLIERS. DAY AFTER DAY SEACRIT GETS BETTER AT AN EXPONENTIAL RATE, WE'RE ENTERING THE SINGULARITY M*THER FUCKERS.

It's bittersweet. 

I look back at so much wasted time. Bouts of despair, feelings of hopelessness as the world went mad. People have come and gone, work on SeaCrit takes place in a desolate wasteland, this blog an empty sounding chamber. But if you want something done right, you know the rest, well, maybe some of you still do. There is strength in tribulations if you can soldier on. 

It's been a trying few years. Plenty judgements as the world devolves to madness, as everyone knows better than everyone else while everything goes to sh*t.  Lots of people wanting to see others fail. It's enough to make your blood boil, but that would be giving into the same madness that this project was built to fight. I have tried not to give in to bitterness, not sure how successful that was, but I move with far more purpose these days, no time to stew in pettiness.

Maybe these systems don't come together. Maybe these are mere delusions from a neckbeard far gone. Maybe this, maybe that. I'm going to get to work now. For the first time in too long, I feel like I'm the guy that started this project many years ago. Someone with a dream, someone with unique talent and work ethic, confident in his abilities, ready to kick some ass and take some f*cking names ready to build a god damned  video game. 

SeaCrit is becoming not dog sh*t. F*ck the haters. The jokers can f*ck themselves too . And fu-, well... I lament the friends and colleagues that have come and gone. Can't say I blame them. 

Bittersweet this all is, but I am grateful I have some small pittance of a future to still be fighting for.