As one can easily glean by the devlog of SeaCrit, I can blather. I can blather FOR HOURS about this gamedev crap, and I try to keep that all localized here.

Well I've been feeling a little off and not quite up for working on the project the past couple days and I started wasting time online and ended up just unloading the longest and most frequent rambles on some poor message board related to gamedev and before I knew it i'm calling out stupid sh*t and getting myself in trouble in the usual ways you can get yourself in trouble in forums close to the tech industry in 2023. Oh well.

I find myself spending entirely too much mental energy worrying about things out of my control. No amount of what I believe to be thoughtful posts is going to change this crazy world.

What I CAN do, is get my act together tomorrow, not get distracted, and get back to work on this stupid fish game.

Gosh even this post my brain is thinking, "why are you posting this, dummy? All you're going to do is look like a weirdo." I mean... I am a weirdo, an asshole weirdo... and all it seems I'm good for these days is blathering, so here it is.

There's this crazy, hopeful part of my brain that thinks, "If I put myself out there, maybe my thoughts and ideas can resonate with others and I won't feel so alone on this journey, maybe just by being out there speaking my mind the madness of the world, will sorta gravitate to my own madness and we can meet in the middle."

But I generally just get flustered and nothing is accomplished.

The world has changed so much recently, for good for bad, who knows. But there's a greater hostility, in everyone. In me, in you, everywhere. And it just snowballs and snowballs. The slightest aggression triggers people, then they escalate, then someone else escalates, then the hammer comes down.

I really just get the feeling that if I'm ever to get eyes on this project it'll just be more people rooting for it to fail.

Distractions wrapped in distractions folding into more distractions thinking about how on earth this project will ever be succesful, or how it's doomed for failure no matter what I do.

The only thing I seem to have any control over in this increasingly mad world seems to be this little fish game, so I need to try to focus and not put my eggs in baskets I know are going to be crushed under all this insanity.

Bleh, here i go again making downer blog posts I'd sworn against. The good news, is SeaCrit is still on the up and up, still trying to be healthy, still exercising, just still feeling a little off.

Very solid chance I'll be back to work tomorrow. God damn I can act like a f*cktard on the internet sometimes, it's like I'm possessed sometimes.

Whatya know... got some work done:

Nothing crazy, lots of little things. That's what gamedev is... lots and lots of little things.

Late Blather Edit: It just occurred to me that I haven't made a post in forever where I just blather and blather about some high end game concept, or about some big decisions I'm having to work out in my head. And I just wanted to say how AWESOME that has been. These days I open the engine and I just get to work doing what I know will make the game better! It's been a nice couple of weeks. Kind been feeling off, but still getting work done so i'm happy about that. Lots of uncertainty these days, but just happy to be making some semblance of progress.