Ever get a verse of a song stuck in your head and you can't for the life of you remember the damn thing? No matter how good the song is, it's not going to be worth the frustration of those lyrics being on the tip of your tongue for so long.

I finally remembered enough of the verses to track down the song:

What a f*ckin' banger. No regrets, this song was worth being frustrated for, had almost forgotten about it. It was never one of my faves, but maybe my tastes have developed a bit over the years. I'm adding it to the list.

God damn do I love Tull. The older I get, the more I appreciate timeless things. We don't make timeless things any more, distracted by topical nothings throttled by... what's the word... counterfeit! counterfeit karma.

I haven't been working on the game as of late, I'm actually kind of terrified my brain will never come together and this is how it all ends. I'm optimistic that it seems I'm thinking clearer, but I have been before and things get foggy again, so we will see.

In the meantime, in most every other way I feel 99%, it is only complex systems and mathmatical stuffs that seem to stutter in my brain, that and a generally inability to remember words and names, it's very strange. I'm one of those assholes that never understands how terrifying things can be until I experience it myself and the past couple months have been pretty alarming considering the entirety of all my investments and sacrifice require me to be at 110% mental sharpness to finish this damnable stupid fish game. I wonder what the point of this was at this point, but perhaps if lightening strikes much can be made of this nothing.

Anyway, life goes on. I've been making lots of 3 bean salad as of late, and it's been coming out kick ass so I figured I would leave a recipe here in a futile attempt to not feel worthless as of late:

Begin with a nice big tupperware container! This isn't a dish you make right away and serve up, the flavors improve over time, it keeps well, and it's a nice side dish or snack that you aren't going to be eating in huge quantities, so find a nice big Tupperware that can contain several cans of beans to start with and just dump things in along the way. (pro/poor tip: Save the plastic container from big tubs of cheap ice cream, they are AWESOME for containing large ammounts of food, I often throw several types in at once after say a big BBQ)

Start the ingredients with precooked, tasty meat, something like thick pepperoni, or... I can't think of the name of the damned meat as I type this... ham hawks! Took me 15 damned seconds to think of the meat I was just dicing up an hour ago. Enough bitching about the brain fog... (Or don't use any meat at all! This can also be a fantastic vegetarian dish), dice this stuff up into tiny chunks.

Add several beans! Canned is what I do. Garbanzos, green beans, kidney beans are the base, and I mix it up from here. You can do corn, you can do black beans, you can do a bit of frozen stir fry veggies from a baggie, mix and match however you want.

Dice up some onion or shallots and a few cloves of garlic. About a half an onion will do, keep in mind we wont be cooking it, so it's going to add a bit of a kick. If you don't want the kick use less! If you wanna be lazy like me, double up on the onion and just use a dash of garlic powder.

Montreal steak seasoning: This stuff rocks. There's something about this seasoning that adds a really nice texture component to what would generally be a one note dish, as well. This seasoning takes a bit of time after being exposed to liquid to reach a nice texture, otherwise it's gritty, so be sure to wait a bit after adding this to eat.

A tad of tomato paste: this will give a bit extra freshness to the dish and depth of flavor and nice color

Paprika: Nice smokiness, beautifies the oil.

(don't tell anyone you added this) A few dashes of fish sauce. DO NOT ADD TOO MUCH. This is an ingredient you always add just a touch to, not enough to be able to pick it out from a bite of the dish, but it adds a nice depth of flavor and magically makes a dish better with a minimal amount! Ok, that travesty done, add a bit of Worcestershire sauce too! This is our little SeaCrit again if you're serving this up to those who are generally accustomed to cheese pizza. Now add a small blerp of Dijon Mustard. Just do it. This was the weird ingredient section, I was hoping if I kept it all in one paragraph it would reduce the general weirdness of it all!

Whatever fresh herb you have on hand! I happened to have access to some... uh... sage. Rosemary, thyme, basil, all taste great! If you're able to be picky, I would recommend fresh cut basil.

Now use a heavy dash of your favorite bouillon, you can always add more later so don't over salt. I do 50/50 tomato and beef.

Now's vinegar time. If you LOVE vinegar, use a lot, if you don't, use just a dash. I recommend a solid pour of plain boring distilled vinegar with a good splash of balsamic vinegar. If you're doing fancy/ holiday cooking, use a bit more balsamic than regular and a dash of garam masala, this will make it a nice Christmas or Thanks Giving recipe. 

We're getting there, very important step here, pour a very generous amount of Vegetable Oil and flavor up these veggies with some fats. If you're on a diet, obviously portion the pour, otherwise don't be shy. Don't use Olive oil, as it'll get hardened in the fridge and require sitting out at room temp to be enjoyable.

Finish with some cracked black pepper and whatever other favorite seasonings or sauces you enjoy. You can toss in some diced tomatoes, mushrooms, goat cheese, WHATEVER! Very versatile dish, cheap as heck, filling, and a little on the fancy side. (Just don't eat it before a hot date)

You didn't add too much salt did you!? Taste the salad, add seasonings as necessary, if it's tasting a bit flat, you can add some v8, some Worcestershire sauce, cubed cheese, etc.

I know I keep saying i'll change my demeanor in the future and be more professional, as a lot rides on this project, but I will be presenting myself and the project a bit more seriously moving forward. I have injected myself into enough blog entries for one lifetime. It's time to take this ordeal more seriously and to ensure it has the greatest chance for success. I want SeaCrit to be larger than my silly rambles, I want it to succeed, and I will be conducting myself as such. If I must, perhaps I will publish blogs unpublished. 

Though I fear I won't be able to finish the game I have always dreamt of, I still hope to get back to work soon and I'm excited to see what SeaCrit becomes if I'm able to get back into the slog. 

Here's hoping for renewed faith in impossible things...