Been fighting against a blog since work is paused presently as I have a lot of frustrating things going on in real life, which increasingly feels like an excuse to give up and wither away.

I need to get to work on the game, bullshit goings ons be damned.

I could complain about the same old same old like the neckbeard I am, but instead I just wanted to post some thoughts on moving forward and try to focus on being productive soon and start mulling what needs doing to make the game fun.

Currently SeaCrit is a hodgepodge of lots of stuff going on at once. It's overload. U start playing and you're beat over the head with fish swapping, level up mechanics, purchasing upgrades, items, and level exploration.

I feel as though everything needs to be simplified a touch and scattered through more content. This will ensure not only is the game not overwhelming, but also that the game has lots of fun things to discover over time.

This is a good thing, I feel more than ever I know what i need to do. Sometimes you just a nice long break to come in with fresh eyes and experience first hand what the player is experiencing:

What the heck just leveled up? Why did it just level up? Why is it finicky to talk to fish? what the heck does this do? Why is there so much data on screen at once what am I even looking at? What are those sounds? Why is combat sending me flying all over the place? Where am I going? Why am I going there?

I have half a mind to just take purchaseable items out, I don't feel like they add anything.

Increasing difficulty over time just doesn't feel right right now, it's complexity on top of complexety before the player masters the game mechanics.

I am learning the hard way trying to innovate in so many directions was a really big gamble.

*Deep breath*

Nothing is squandered, there is a LOT of good stuff here. The base controls, combat, items, AI, etc are all PRETTY DAMNED GOOD if I say so myself. I need to start thinking about how to portion it out, figure out what belongs where and what creates a great early experience and long term experience for SeaCrit. It still irks me that despite all the promise and goodness that is here, I am here working alone with no hands on deck trying to make progress at a snails pace with no help to iterate faster, to come up with neat ideas, salvage old ones, and sane ideas moving forward. I often wonder if this is a blessing or a curse, though I remind myself that I like to think i'm pretty ok at this thing. I worry if I were to get a publisher or a team to work with through some miracle, they would gut the wrong things, and mish mash everything until the game resembled something I resented and then ultimately failed.

I am still very grateful to be optimistic about the future of SeaCrit, even if it is a monumental pain making progress. Though I'm hoping that changes in the near future as I get back to work. A solid, well thought out plane is what this project needs, something I can execute and be confident will bring the best out of the various systems I have in motion. I need to remind myself "Less is more". If I focus on the core items, level design, enemies, etc that work and are fun, and propagate those everywhere, I will have a solid game maybe before I grind myself to dust. Mario got by on simple platforming and a small handful of tried and true simple enemies for decades. I need to stop trying to make the wheel some overengineered, fragile monstrosity, find what works in the game and lock it in.

I also feel as though I need to make it easier for the player to just get into the action, maybe i'll move the start right to the beginning of level 1 and the player can swim to the tutorial bits if they want to.

As for the level design which I have blathered about forever, I think i'm just going to stop thinking about it so much and let it build itself out as I build other things, I've obsessed over it too much. I'm one person, I need to stop trying to do the job a full team with my limited time and creative energy and abilities.

There is so much to do and I feel so in this damned cave, away from any light that could expose this project to anyone of any clout or sway in that could lead to sustainable dev moving forward. 

Same old same old, as everything deteriorates and I wonder if i'll ever be at 100% again with so much to do.

Until now I just took for granted I would take time off, feel better and I could come back recharged ready to kick some ass. I find I'm not able to read as well or take in information as well as I did just several months ago. My mind feels like it's in a fog of sorts, always a bit out of breath, always a little dizzy. Now I wonder if I've deteriorated too much, or even if the world has simply gone too mad that this project will ever have a chance, that I ran a marathon, got to the final stretch and just fell face first and no one even saw. On top of that I feel I've simply burned the wrong bridges, took the wrong turns, or was born with the wrong social toolsets to ever have a chance at this damned endeavor in this damned crazy world.

It's been a 3 month break now, that's getting to be too long, but i've had longer. Time to get my shit together, stop poisoning myself on weekends trying to drink my stress away, get some exersize, focus on other important things in life, and get back into the mental and physical shape that this project demands that I push it at its current complex and needy state.