I generally try to talk about the fish game at least a bit in my blogs, but today I just need to get some shit off my mind. This is a concept I’ve been trying to conceptualize in my head for for some time now, many have. It’s at the heart of the rot and I feel if more people understood the inanity of our various systems of power we could strive to somehow improve them, but we live in this world where everyone feels like  a bystander, everyone is waiting for someone to step up and save us in a machine that only allows its own bits and pieces any power at all.

We’re only human, we are animal, our progress in minimizing war, spreading prosperity, reducing shortages of goods the world over in the search for peace and enlightenment stems directly from the understanding of our base natures which are at odds with all of these things. We know we are imperfect, we know we will make mistakes, but through discipline and self reflection and being able to admit that we are wrong we can strive to be better.  

In our current climate of unrestricted decadence, we now live in a cloud of insanity, systematically amplifying and minimizing reality to service a nihilistic world view in service to endless decay by a sheltered clique who never suffered the necessary character building trials to make informed decisions for the future for the betterment of all. An untested, and failing vanguard of moral authority continues to drive us off the cliff, and as the world deteriorates, it is increasingly everyone else's fault.

As beings with the capacity for reason, we can take a step back and analyze our biases, we can question our motives and determine if we are in the wrong for the greater good, we can create a better world with grit and determination if we are allowed the space and open minded spheres to do so.

I don’t generally like to do blog posts when I’m not getting work done, feels too self gratifying, I need to get to work so things can move forward, not indulge silly rambles. But a thought crossed my mind that I’m trying to attack, I have become too invested in the goings on of the day, I am starting to believe that the world is so mad that the project has no chance at all, as I do not belong to the “correct” circles who are allowed on the app store, in this heavily monopolized world we now live in.

This is in direct opposition to the spirit with which I began this project. I knew the world was mad, I knew this would be an uphill batter, and I knew that along the way I may find myself subscribing to self fulfilling notions of victimhood that would have me blaming the world around me for my failings to create a quality game.

So I feel justified in this little side ramble. I needed to get these thoughts out there so I could get back to thinking about what matters, making a quality game that people can enjoy. No moral ambiguity, no tribalism, not feeding the beast. It’s all I can do in good conscience.

It used to be intriguing to look into why this world is devolving into tribalistic hate, to unravel the mysteries of the underbellies of our institutions. What could be at the heart of this decline? ALIENS!? ANCIENT CABALS!? TOM CRUISE? OPRAH? BLUE MEANIES!?

It’s just our base nature. Cognitive dissonance, simple laziness and tribalism and wanting to put all of the worlds ills on everyone else. Everything is wrong because everyone else ruined it so why even try? Everyone else is in full power and they’ll destroy you if you try to compete so if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.

I hate to admit it, but after coming all this way in this moment I feel pretty burned out, and I feel as though I am waiting for the world to become sane and that my game is already pretty good so I should just wait around till the right opportunity pops up. And I HATE that I’m typing this.

I need to do some soul searching. We live pretty fucking easy lives these days, and I think that’s a bit of the problem. We’ve got it pretty good, we’ve lost that fire under our asses to get up and stand for fuck all, so sacrifice fuck all, to try to attempt fuck all.

SeaCrit is about attempting fuck all. SeaCrit is about making cool shit and pushing the medium forward, even if it takes failure after failure. So god damn it, I’m going to fucking fail harder.

Whew, there is so many directions my mind wanders when I think of returning to work. “You should rebuild the AI from the ground up because it’s a tangled mess and it’s preventing you from making the game better, a constant thorn.” But then my brain thinks, “Eh it’s good enough, make the world you idiot!”, then I get to thinking about how literally every portion of the game needs tweaking and tuning along the way, AI settings, abilities, items, powerups, spawn setups, spawn camps, world building, purchasable areas, secret areas, teleports, and improving the base setups that make all of this happen.

The vast majority of people simply do not understand the undertaking it is to make complex systems better, how fragile long lasting peace and prosperity is when they are built on complex systems and structures that require accountability and principle to maintain and expand upon. It’s much easier to tell self fulfilling lies that everyone is evil, and your little tribe is good, because in our animal brains, we want to believe we are the good guys in our story, and there is nothing wrong with that, we should all strive to be the good guy in our story, but the terrible rise of thinking everyone else is some kind of evil monster is our modern era.  There are terrible monsters out there, and they exist in all walks of life. Some of them  look nothing like you, some of them think nothing like you, and others do, and sometimes you can be a terrible monster yourself, so we need to learn to not be so fucking hard on one another and try to stop labeling people as good, bad, or ugly.

We’ve reached a critical mass of hysteria, of hate, of sophomoric self fulfilling monetary schemes as the conniving and unprincipled vie for more power and control.  

Anyone can be anything anymore, not by hard work, not by talent, but by feeding the mob it’s insatiable lust for hate. Actors no longer portray our world of beautiful suffering, institutions no longer relay painful truths, industry no longer sacrifices for hard earned prosperity and innovation. Only the attainment of gilded  self revelry matters in our decadent halls.

Oh what lies have spun in interest of the ecstasy of gold...

Our culture has changed around this new norm, over this ungrateful mentality that things will only get  better from pedestrian claims to power over identity over capability. That easily seized notions of victimhood for power are as legitimate as a lifetime of hard work and hard earned lessons. 

Who is the good, who is the bad, and who is the ugly is decided by our own tribalistic lens, and it is painful to know that year after year that ugly fucking lens is eclipsing the sun.

"There are two kinds of people in this world my friend, those with loaded guns and those who dig. "

It’s time for me to dig soon, dig out of this hole of victimhood and bullshit and get back to the tangible of making the game better. Fuck the nonsense.

I thought for an instance about including the metallica version of this song. Fuck those sellouts. Ennio Morricone.