So I saw this shitshow on reddit and it reminded me how terrible this industry all is, and for a brief moment I thought, maybe this cave isn't so bad:

https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/uxg3wp/i_just_turned_down_a_100k_nonre...

Depressing, awkward devs, depressing awkward scene, depressing, awkward "experts" and journalists. A throng of entitled posers circle jerking each other secretly longing for relevancy and cash grabs, the livestock hoping for the small chance to be on the chopping block.

How did everything fall into such madness? How did we get so far removed from building each other up so we could create great works and enjoy them together, create a better world to give to our children? How did we become so fucking ungrateful, unskilled, coddled, weak, and fucking worthless? And why are we so resigned to be as such as the walls cave in? I used to long for publishers, I used to long for that job at a big studio, I've been used and dejected over the years, but looking back I don't feel too much shame, because this world has gone utterly fucking mad, with the most disgusting people at the wheel. Who rises, who falls, it's inconsequential, it's all chaos, it's all he said she said horse shit as jokers finger the scales.

This is what our industry has become. Weak shut ins exploited by the same old same old in a shameless spectacle in a machine incapable of executing its function: to create stories and experiences worth a damn. We lost our soul. Somewhere along the line society has forgotten how to wipe its own ass with all the reach arounds and back scratching, gaslighting, and game playing. I'm so fucking sick of it. Gaming has never had any glitz and glamor but we've found a way to crater lower 

I don't recognize gaming any more. The closed markets, the greedy, self entitled neckbeard know-it-alls, the gate keeping see you next Thursdays, the smarm fucks everywhere padding the walls of the asylum, cutting down anyone who questions the decline. . How did everyone get to be so militant in their shortcomings? There used to seem to be someone at the wheel, some adult who could step in and say, no we don't do things like this, we're better than this, we're going to hold each other to a higher standard.

Everyone's smarming their way into our industries by hook or by crook, anything but actually putting their heads down and making a god damned game worth a damn. That's the world we live in now, hoot holler cry your ass ass, play victim, point fingers, it's everyone else's fault.

Part of me thinks, "how the fuck am I supposed to make it in this batshit world?" but it's motivating in other ways. I have to make SeaCrit better, I have to make this game good enough that some day it rises above this disgusting noise, the bullshit, the smoke, mirrors and party tricks that all these soulless hacks have used to destroy this medium. All this decline has to amount to something, I mean it doesn't, but I hope like a dumb fuck it will.

It's not lost on me how much of an insufferable neckbeard I am. It is what it is. At the very least I can say it's not boring as of late. The world's crumbling down around us, as know-it-all smarm fucks shove noses in shit.

Had a great day of dev yesterday. That's all that matters. I know i'm crazy, but I'm still hopeful that someday seacrit will be good enough to pierce the veil, and we can use forward momentum to shatter this dog shit, soft parade horse shit that has paralyzed this industry, this world.

What a time to be an indie dev. What a time to just be alive. Not sure where I'm going with this blog post, not that anyone reads this shit. Everything is controlled, everything is measured to perpetuate this weak inanity. So fuck it, blessing in disguise. Back to work... or maybe just a nap. I'll piece this together soon. It's so draining, every day is this apathetic life or death fight against this decline, but the game feels like its getting close. Almost there...