So sometimes you just hit a creative block, this becomes more and more frequent as your project goes on and the honeymoon phase is over it's harder and harder to get your creative juices up for the project. But it's not all bad because things have been going well and i think everything is coming together and all in all works been flowing pretty well the past couple months, so I'm allowing myself to wallow around for a few days without too much guilt. Exercise is SO important, if you're not careful you wither away working on your project and you never get your energy back and you wonder why, and it's because you've become a sloth with no cardiovascular system.

Anyhow, I really wanted to record one super badass jam session where I work for 9 hours straight and piece together the item system, create a new zone and bring this all home into one coherent demo for prosperity purposes, but i'm finding that wanting to get this "on tape" is adding extra stress and expectations which is making it hard for me to push forward and just finish this damned thing. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Who knows. I really want to record this last bit of dev though so i can look back on it in the future if I ever want to as the culmination of working no my "masterpiece" or whatever the hell you want to call this abomination of things.

But hey I got dynamic text size in!

It's funny how in our heads we think the more important something is in a game, we're going to spend a proportional ammount of time on that thing. Like, 99% of my game is fighting fish and shit so i'm giong ot spend 99% of my tiemd iong that important shit right!? WRONG! I SPEND MONTHS TUNING BORING SHIT LIKE TEXT. Wish i had some codemonkeys to delegate this boring shit to, but i'm just a pleb so i gotta do everything myself.

It's such a weird world to be making a game in today. Everything has gone so batshit insane, and I have no idea how the world works. I remember when I was younger, and the world just seemed so fucking insane and nothing made sense. I was always eager to grow older and brush elbows with people in the know so i could better understand the true purpose of things, I genuinly thought there was a method to all the madness in this world, some core truth and circle of people behidn the wheel. That the dollars and structures we all in service to a greater good, an infallible truth. Justice, meritocracy, principle, common sense. I thought all these things had an intrinsic place at the core of our soceity.

Boy was I fucking wrong. Things just get crazier and crazier as the days go by. Everyone's so fucking vindictive and petty and no one at the top has any idea WTF theyr'e doing or have ever tried to create anything of value by themeslves. I despise how self serving dumb fucks have coopted everything, glorified mediocrity and subverted moral grandstanding for doing a hard days work. Whole world's gone to shit in service to circle jerking jokers and jackasses.

Funny story, I remember arguing with someone on reddit many years ago, and they were saying a good game can often go unnoticed and that success is totally random. I argued "bullshit, show me the good game that failed" and I'll bet it had inherent flaws. This tiny petty argument kinda fueled the development of SeaCrit, I doveted my entire life to provin a random internet troll wong, but maybe I was the troll all along...

 Anyway the point is I'm more of the mindset that they were right and the world is just suffering, chaos and back scratching. And that's a hell of a pill to swallow knowing that you're star crossed/ born in the wrong time/ whatever. Not saying SeaCrit will be any good, but if by some long shot it ever becomes decent, I'm fully aware that things could still crater and fail and that's just how things go, we tend to fixate on the limelight, but the vast majority of the human experience is quite suffering and what we percieve to be as untapped potential. Life's a bitch and then you die, but in the meantime i might as well keep workin' on the fish game as the world falls in on itself, at least I do not believe I am contributing to the madness in any significant way.

Edit; Whew, I'm really goign back on my promise to myself not to blather random personal bullshit.