Decay is not a motivator, and thinking it to be is a self indulgent notion to give up all responsibilities to yourself and others pursuant to your idiot dream. You might think the decay you are willfully surrendering to will incentivize you to work harder. If you have nothing in your life but your project you’ll be forced to work on it, you’ll put 110% into it and that will make the difference between success and failure.

This idiocy may help for a short while, but the gains are short lived as decay sets in. It never ends. Health, energy, sanity, drive, ambitions, dignity, time all fade into regrets. You’ll fall out of touch with everyone in your life. At some point the reality of what you’ve become hits you, but at some point that person is long gone, you’re now someone that willfully lets important things spiral out of control to make a stupid fucking games about fucking fish.

It’s not worth giving into the decay.

I haven’t given up on SeaCrit, I pray I've walked the razor’s edge and forward progress keeps me going and my ambitions for this game one day being good still burn, but over the years I've seen the nothingness and apathy setting in, the endless disconnect. I know many are consumed by the madness of things, and I’m fully aware this may very well be the fate for SeaCrit. I hope someday this is more than the sum of my failures.

Not sure what I’m trying to say here, probably just trying to feel sorry for myself. I guess try to stay positive when you dev, and hold on to the important things and don’t let yourself become a burden. I shouldn’t have to state the obvious to myself like an abject neckbeard but here we are. Goes to show how fucked this whole project has been for way too long. Hope the vicious cycle is over soon. I’ve been saying i can’t push it much further for way too fucking long. Sunk cost fallacy is a hell of a thing. And yet I truly think the game is becoming not dog shit as of late, as ever. Gamedev is a hell of a thing.

Edit, because fuck pure melodrama: So i'm tuning sniper fish, and when you're charging as a sniper you're moving really slow and it sucks, and you feel like a gimped ranged fish that can barely move, so you waddle hoping to get a better shot cursing that you pressed the button down. to charge your shot and you're moving about like a quadriplegic. I ALMOST decided to up the sniper movement speed while charging, so you would be a little faster and move about without being so frustrated that you move like a snail. But screw it, snipers are slow, I added all this crap to have an alternative playstyle for snipers, MARK IT ZERO! Sniper fish now have 0 movement speed, you can't move! You don't feel sluggish, you just feel... like a sniper now, you have to strategically choose when to charge your shot. The playstyle is totally different. I dig it, it's way better. Don't abandon stuff just because things aren't working quite right, push fucking harder.